Wednesday, 30 September 2009

God knew.....

God knew people would need a wagging tail to cheer them up no matter what their day has been like. That's why He gave us dogs.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Andreas update

I had got in touch with a lady at the YWAM base in Pachuka, Mexico (who I met during Carnaval), Meghan. She went with my outreach team to visit the street kids in Mexico City, and she still continues to visit them with other people from that base.

Anyway, I got in touch with her and asked her about Andreas and his family, and she said that he and his family are doing really well. They have formed a really good relationship with him and the other street kids. They have taught them a few children's songs, and got the kids to sing-a-long.
I so wish I could've been there to see it.

I can't sop thinking about him. He is so precious.

Andreas & one of the street girls


This is just an update of what I have been up to and a few thoughts.

So I have started university (college/school for my Americans and Canadians. I love you). Right now it is just Freshers Week, which if you ask me, is a bit pointless.
Not much to do from my point of view. Unless you count the partying and drinking, which really, I don't. It's not my scene and it's not a place I want to be.
Then there's the Freshers Fair where you walk around this room with a hundred other people, like sardines in a tin, and you grab and get given as many pointless freebies as you can manage - free membership to a bar; a blow-up snooker ball (which my dog attacked); a pink pig raising swine flu awareness (which my dog stole); countless pens; piles of paper (ended up in the paper waste); and various other objects.
Oh, and apparently the freebies last year were better. Great.
We have had stupid induction lectures which have included us being given a tour of the library ("this is the library where the books are, and this is the library catalogue". Yes thanks, I know how to use a library).
We've had hours of free time with not a lot to do (there is a limit to the number of times you can go around Freshers Fair you know; at the end of the day you don't want 50 pens and boxes of flyers and brochures!); and introduction talks to our lectures where we have been given half or quarter timetables and then we have had the joy of piecing it together and trying to work out what goes where. Mmm. Fun. Not really.

I'm hoping that it will get better. I know that it is only early days, but it's not too good right now. I'm really struggling to connect with the people on my course. I kinda feel like I am a) invisible or b) a tag along.
Cliques are already starting to form, and I'm not apart of any of them. I just tend to flit between them.
I had such a longing for Mexico and the base and everyone today. I just seemed to fit in there.

Plus side. I get to come home at the end of each day and see my family and my dog. God knew what he was doing when He created dogs - He knew people would need a wagging tail to cheer them up.

Another plus side. I've met people from the Christian Union, and they are awesome! Seriously. It's a really active CU and they do a lot of things in the uni and the city. They have prayer times every week, and meet every week.
I am looking so forward to being apart of it, and to hang out them and God, and have that Christian fellowship.
They really are too cool.

I miss Mexico. A lot. I miss the people. I miss the place. I miss what I did out there. I just feel that I don't do anything now that I am back home. I don't feel like I am using the full potential that God has given me.
I am trying so hard to cling onto whatHe gave me out there. I don't want to slip back into old habits. It's hard. I hate the thought that I am not being all that God wants me to be.
He gave me an opportunity on the weekend to talk about Him with someone I have been praying for for a while, and try as I might I could not grasp the opportunity. Every time I tried to grab it, it slipped out of my hands. It broke my heart.

I know that He is the only one who knows what these next four years of school holds for me, and what will come after that; and I do take comfort from that, but at the same it is hard because fear and doubts creep up, and I wonder if I am still on His path

One thing I have realised - I tend to ramble and repeat things when I am tired and should be in bed. So I am going to sign out and put my head on my pillow, and I will write again when I know that I can make more sense.

God, be in charge of my sleep and my dreams, and speak to me. Let my heart listen for you even when I sleep.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Here's to Mexico.....

"Here in YWAM we never get good at saying goodbye, so we just don't say it. Instead, we know that God is big, and this world small, and that we will see each other again"

Ok so I am a little bit behind in writing this, but it has been 3 months since I graduated from my DTS and since goodbye to my fellow students (June 20th), and 2 months since I left a place called Mazatlan (20th July).
I can't believe it! To think that I have only been gone from Mexico for 2 months, and yet it feels like a lifetime!
There are times when those 7 months in Mexico seem like a dream and I wonder if they ever happened, and other times when it feels like just the other day that it all happened. It is so weird how time works like that.

I think back to the time when we got back from outreach and were reunited as a DTS, and we got straight to work building 50 bunk beds in the sweltering summer heat of Mazatlan, where you can drink 3 or 4 litres of water before lunch and hardly have to use the bathroom!
And all too soon we were having our DTS debrief and spending our last week together and then we had an emotional graduation. On the morning of graduation we woke up to the tail-end of a hurricane and the wind was blowing and it was pouring with rain, and it was so much fun!!
And then I decided to stay an extra month (much to the disappointment of everyone back home) and I had the most amazing month building with Homes of Hope and getting to know people better and establishing really strong friendships.
If I hadn't stayed the extra month I would never have gone to the mountains and stayed in a log cabin (one of my ambitions) with some of my closest friends.
I would say that it was during my last month there that I really became a part of the base and left a piece of my heart there; and I know that no matter where in the world I end up, and if I never go back there, that those people will always have a piece of my heart. It became my second home, and they became my second family, and for that I will always love them.

But all too soon that time came to an end and it was time for some of the hardest goodbyes I have ever said; and the tears came and the tears didn't stop coming.
I felt like I was in a dream as I boarded that plane headed for home. And I missed people, and I still do, and I always will.

Being home has been great but so hard. It has taken a while to adjust and settle in; and even now with certain things I am still trying to settle in, and I wonder if I ever will fully.
Because I have left a part of my heart in Mexico. And I know that one day I will have to go back to retrieve it.
You don't forget about something as awesome as what is over there. You just can't.

So here's to Mexico. To the great time I had, and to the great time I will have. To my "home" and my "family". I love you. I will be back.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

The Path

This morning I went for a walk. It was a pretty great morning as it was dry and the sun was starting to shine through the clouds! :-)
I was listening to Hillsong and spending a bit of time talking and listening to God, and as I was doing this, I was following a line on the path.
It was this tiny white line going for miles along the path, and it looked as if somone had been dragging a stick behind them as they had walked, leaving this scratch on the path. This line, for the most part, went straight, but at times veered off to the left or right towards the grass, and at times even disappeared for a while before coming back.
And as I was following this line, God spoke to me and said that His path is like that. Sometimes it's small and hard to see, and sometimes it seems like it is going in a different direction to where we want it to be going, and at times it seems like it has disappeared and we are walking blind, but it is always there.
And it just really encouraged me to keep going, because I know that God has got the future path already laid out and paved for me, and I don't need to worry about not seeing it or worry about it where goes.
Even though it may feel like I am walking blind or off the edge of a cliff sometimes, so what? As I long as I keep I my eyes fixed on Him I know that it will be ok. You know why? Because I know that God has my back, and it's gonna be one incredible adventure!!

What follows is one of my favourite poems - "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost:
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Friday, 18 September 2009


.....Was pretty awesome.
Tonight was our weekly youth group at church called Ignite.
It started off really well with great social (includes things like a cafe, football, basketball, skate ramps, etc), but the highlight for me was the actual service.
We got into groups according to guys and girl and their school year, and did a quiz. I'm a pastoral group leader, along with Kim and Kerry, for the year 7 girls. Basically, all we do is get to know this group of year 7 girls really well and are there for them if ever they need anything, to pray, to talk, etc. We also get into this group for discussions and whatnot.
Worship was incredible (I did quite a bit of crying lol as God gently reminded me of who He is and how great His love is). The best part of this for me was seeing some of the year 7 girls from my group lifting their hands high to praise God, and so totally involved in the worship and focusing on God. It brought a lump to my throat to see these young girls going for God.
They are an awesome bunch of girls - really lively and bubbly - and I am looking forward to getting to know them over this next year. I pray that they will really grow in their relationship with God and that this year of their life will give them such a firm founding in God. I also pray that God will give me the wisdom and the words, and will guide me in the best possible way so that I can guide these girls and give them advice and help when they need. I want to be a friend to them, not just a leader, and above all, I want to encourage and help them to grow with God. If all I manage to do in the year is point them towards God and see them grow in that, I will be happy.

On a more serious note, I am just happy that even though people disappoint, God does not. Not ever. And that brings me peace.


I had a haircut today. My hair looks different. Very different :-)

Taking it back to God.....

This morning I recieved a message from a close friend in Mexico saying that she wasn't staying in Mexico as long as she thought, and that she and her boyfriend were leaving in about a week and a half!
I was more than a little surprised, and although I know that it is the path that God wants her to take right now and am excited for her, I am also a bit disappointed as I thought I would be seeing her again soon as I was planning on visiting Mexico next summer. So yeah, a bit gutted as she and her boyfriend (he was on my DTS) are super awesome.

They were both planning on being staff at the YWAM base in Mazatlan, Mexico for about a year, but now things have changed. And it just got me thinking that of that verse in Proverbs 16:9 - "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
We will often try to plan our course ourselves, but in the end, the Lord knows best. I have seen this when I returned home from 7 months in Mexico. I thought that I would be returning to Mexico beginning of next year, but God had me go on another path - a path that I would never have expected!
And while it has been hard at times, I know that it is right as I know that it is where God wants me.

It's like a ship. A ship has a rudder which enables it to go in different directions, but without someone at the helm, it is unable to use the rudder to turn. We have a rudder which enables us to go in different directions, but we need God at our helm to ensure that the rudder is working and that we are moving in the right direction.
We also need someone who knows what he is doing, and that someones is God. He knows our plans and paths even when we do not. I remember a story that my mom told me, about how when she was a teenager she went on her dad's ship (my grandpa was Captain of big ships like cargo ships, so it was big!) and one time she was allowed to steer the ship, but because she wasn't used to it and hadn't had a lot of practise, the ship wasn't staying on a straight course but was zigzagging.
If we try to steer our ships ourselves, we are going to end up zigzagging; but hand the ship over to God, and we will stay on a straight course.

It also made me realise today that although I know what I am doing for the next four years of my life (uni), I still need to be going back to God and taking my plans to Him and saying "I am still where you want me to be?"
And I need to continue doing this throughout my life so that I don't miss His direction.
Because, after all, I may plan my course, but the Lord determines my steps; and I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to miss His ship!

Wednesday, 16 September 2009


I decided to start a blog. Ideally I would love it to be a blog for Mexico, but seeing as I'm not there anymore and won't be for a while, there didn't seem to be much point.
So I decided to blog about anything.
This is just gonna be me writing down memories and stories and what I'm up to. It will be interesting to see how long I keep this up for, and how much gets done when I've started at university! haha
For now this is just a short, random post so that I actually have something posted on my blog! I will post again when I have something worthwhile to post!